But that fear of being laughed at also taught me a lot.
I started studying different techniques, composition, how to make the most of my equipment and so on. Without that fear I probably wouldn’t have improved my skills as much. Photographer Mark Morris wrote a very enlightening article about the fear we face in photography, and how we can turn it into successful work.
Two days after depositing the check for the gig, I received word that the check was returned. In my head, I instantly knew what had happened. The lead photographer saw my work, and they decided that my work was trash. They saw the RAW images, and they realized that I was just not deserving of our agreed upon fee. What I thought was a job done wonderfully was in fact somehow way off the mark, and I was delusional and should have never taken a second shooter gig at such a high profile venue, with such a high profile photographer. I received no reply for the longest time. And then I got the most touching, sweet text. My photos were great, the grooms mother ADORED me, everything was perfect, they gave me a huge tip after I had left, and it was in the mail. The bounced check was due to income tax day, the photographer’s taxes had been debited out of their account, and they needed to transfer money over.
FEAR OF FAILURE
This is probably the greatest inhibitor of learning and growth of all. My day job is being a music teacher. I teach students how to create and express themselves on musical instruments. At the very core of that job needs to be the understanding that human beings naturally fear failing at things. Music, art and photography are all VERY near to the hearts of the people that are compelled to create them. So from both an artistic and a business standpoint, it is incredibly easy to hold back. I watch students work through that anxiety every day! It was a very interesting moment of self-reflection when I had to stop and analyze my own fear that another photographer would judge my work negatively. In reality, constructive criticism is at the root of any improvement. If there had been an issue with my work, the conversation about how it fell short would be a tremendously helpful thing! Accepting some carefully thought-out or specific words of criticism will help any artist advance and progress at their craft. I have spent a lifetime studying music with some of the most elite performers in the nation. My formal education on my primary instrument includes work with most of the members of the Philadelphia Orchestra trombone section, and some of the New York Philharmonic trombone section. These are literally the very finest (and pickiest) artist in what I would contend is one of the most restrictive and judgmental corners of that art world. Classical music often has a “right way” to be performed, and there is very little latitude for deviations from that standard. With photography, there is a vastly wider net of “acceptable” professional work. One would think that having comfortably withstanding the highest levels of artistic instruction and criticism for decades, I would have been more equipped to deal with someone not liking some photos that I had taken. But something here was very different. The photography work either means more to my ego than my music has, or perhaps I simply lack the underpinning of confidence in photography that I have in the subject where I hold multiple degrees, and countless hours of formal study.
FEAR OF LOOKING FOOLISH
When you really push an envelope and try something out of your ‘comfort zone,’ you run an increased risk of things not going well. The flip side of that, however, is that EVERY opportunity for growth will have to involve that risk of looking foolish while you hone your new skills. Now as a professional, it is arguably best to do the more esoteric learning while working on personal projects, not for paid work. As a photographer, we generally have control over what we share out to the world. If something is our own project, and we aren’t happy with the results, we can simply withhold those results from public view, and just keep things to ourselves. In the case that I described above, the evaluation of my work was based on RAW files on a memory card. I had never second-shot before, so I was not prepared for the vulnerable feeling of having a more experienced photographer looking through the EXIF data of my images, making evaluations on how I handled each and every situation. But you know what? As soon as I was afraid that the work was not being received well, I went back through and REALLY evaluated what I had done throughout that day. I shoot in full manual, and I went back through the images to evaluate if my settings were logical. Nobody is perfect, but after some very careful retrospective examination … yeah, I made very logical choices! I have to admit, it was the very first time that I had presented my RAW images to a photographer for their use, and it was definitely not in my comfort zone.
PARALYSIS BY PERFECTIONISM
When I go on 500px and look up my favorite photographer’s page, I am seeing the absolute pinnacle of their creative capabilities. When I look at my own work, I see every stage of the process. Comparing my own work in all of its varying degrees of success against the absolute peak output of more experienced photographers is simply not a rational or logical comparison. One conversation I remember hearing (most likely on an Improve Photography Podcast!) is the notion that a magnificent photographic composition with compelling emotion and story-telling properties will still be a great image, even if there is a technical flaw.
Read the full article over at Improve Photography.
Source: Improve Photography
